Did Kundalini Yoga Save My Marriage?

Kundalini Yoga, a 4,000-year old science, did many things for me in a very short time:

1. Calmed my agitated nervous system.

2. Got me off anxiety medication.

3. Boosted my endocrine system so I no longer need synthroid medicine. I am now producing enough for my formerly underactive thyroid.

4. Helped me to break lifelong habits of nagging, complaining, blaming, interrupting people (get the picture?)

5. Changed my overall energy from an uptight, competitive Type A person, into a more mellow person who trusts in the flow of life.

Did Kundalini Yoga Save My Marriage?

“A couple in silhouette kisses on a rock overlooking a sunset by the ocean” by frank mckenna on Unsplash

We patched things up about four months before I went to take what I thought would be a regular stretchy yoga class, and instead, was my very first Kundalini class! Here is an excerpt from my upcoming memoir: It’s Not Too Late Baby, a Kundalini Love Story.

I had tugged on black Capri spandex pants and a bright pink athletic sport top, expecting a regular stretchy yoga class.

“Have you ever taken Kundalini Yoga before,” the teacher, Theresa Banks, asked me sweetly as I was sitting on my mat, happily soaking in the rays of sunshine through three large windows.

“No,” I replied casually. I was totally clueless as to what was about to happen.

“It’s very different,” Theresa informed me, probably because I was dressed for a typical yoga class. Most people in the class wore loose fitting clothes in white or light colors and wide headbands on their heads.

“It’s fine,” I replied, already over the moon for just being out of the basement gym. I thought to myself, different is exactly what I’m looking for.

Finally ready and willing to embrace the long deep breathing I had purposely avoided in the past, I closed my eyes and felt like I truly had landed in the right place.

The eyes are kept closed during the inward practice of Kundalini but I peeked a few times for cues from the teacher, and to watch a man sitting in the front row. He was moving quickly and breathing strongly, especially during one exercise where your hands are on your shoulders and your torso is twisting back and forth along with your inhale left and exhale right. It was like nothing I had ever done before. After each new exercise we sat for a minute to feel energy dancing through our bodies. Energy, as the teacher explained, releases hormones and balances the nervous and endocrine system. It was indeed different, but good different.

“I’m going on anti-anxiety medicine,” I regretfully informed my trainer earlier that year.

“Temporarily,” he stated, rather than asked.

“I know. I don’t really like taking medicine.” I grumbled, still thinking Adam was the one who should be taking the pills!

“Try to only stay on them for one year,” he added.

After a steady dose of Kundalini and Hatha classes over the following seven months, I was able to wean myself off the medicine in exactly one year. My nervous system and my hardworking ego had undergone a rewiring upgrade! After years of trying to stand out among my four sisters, assorted aspiring ballerinas, popular classmates, and an array of wedding singers, the urge to compete was waning. I had come a long way from Adam-bashing at our therapy sessions.

“He’ll never get there if you keep picking on everything he does.” I remember Joan, our therapist, leaning forward in her chair for emphasis.

It took a while for Joan’s advice to sink in and make sense. It scared me to see Adam sitting in the chair next to me with his head in his hand. Was he thinking of leaving? Was he brooding like Mom? I knew I didn’t want to be exactly like Mom. I didn’t want what Eckhart Tolle calls, a “grievance.”

Joan was asking me to “water the flowers,” instead of adding up the misdemeanors. Watering Adam’s flowers so he could raise himself up and out of wherever he had been for the last few years was a crucial yet arduous labor of love. If only Adam could be a little more forthcoming, and I could be a little less, this would be so much easier. My imagination was left on it’s own to conjure up painfully harmful scenarios.

“This is like Vacation Yoga! I feel so relaxed!” I told Theresa after that first class.

Each class is different, some are very physical, others more meditative, but the teacher usually gives energetic warm-ups in the beginning, along with some breathing exercises.

What I love most is that the meditations have movements and sometimes chanting, so it’s not necessary for me to sit still just trying to quiet my thoughts — which I can finally do, after a lot of practice!!

The morning classes are usually all women and they are all so lovely and down to earth. In other words, no one is an “over the top” type. No one judges me for anything, which I love! Some of us even drink coffee, eat chocolate, hamburgers, and have wine on occasion (at least I do all these things).

When I was taking the Kundalini Teacher Training course, I tried to eat clean and do nearly everything they told us to do. I didn’t go vegetarian or give up coffee, but the strangest thing happened when I came completely off of sugar, dairy and wheat.

I felt myself turning into a yogi and I wasn’t sure I liked it! I felt like Tim Allen when he reluctantly turns into Santa Claus!

I blurted out to my two teachers one day in training:

“It wasn’t my intention to become
(no offense please) a tea drinking, hard core yogi,
but I feel like I’m turning into one.
I even put cloves and nutmeg in my coffee this morning!”

I was indeed the class clown! But what happened is if I slipped and had a cracker or a bite of cheese, I’d break out in a horrible eczema-like rash all over my face! It was unbearable, so I decided to go 80–20 and not give in to becoming a full-on yogi.

I’m just a normal woman who completed her Level I Kundalini Teacher Training Course, and 1/5th of the Level II Training, who eats meat, drinks coffee with two teaspoons of organic half and half, and sneaks cookies and dark chocolate kisses a little too often.

They also told us in training to not get too attached to anything. Don’t get too attached to Kundalini Yoga! And that’s the best thing about it — it’s so chill!!! You do it to get chill, not to be an “over the top” yogi. I’ve always wanted to be “chill” and didn’t know how to get there. I was raised in the competitive dance, music and theatre world where if you didn’t stand out, you’d sink.

From www.3HO.org:

“Kundalini Yoga is a yoga for householders, for people who have to cope with the daily challenges and stresses of holding jobs, raising families, and managing businesses. It is a path for everyone who wants the skills to cope successfully with the challenges of our times.”

The legacy of technical and spiritual knowledge that Yogi Bhajan studied and mastered in India is the gift he brought to the West.

The kundalini experience does not mean
you have gone into a deep breathless trance
and are beyond this world…
It integrates you more fully with reality
and gives you a broader vision and sensitivity
so that you can act more efficiently.”
~Yogi Bhajan, from Kundalini Yoga: The Flow of Eternal Power

I pride myself on being a “Real Householder of Kundalini Yoga.” The world could use a reality show like that!

Kundalini was brought here to the states from India to help people get off of LSD and cope with PTSD from the Vietnam War. It’s powerful stuff!

And it most probably did Save My Marriage! I just asked my husband if he thinks it saved our marriage and he said “YES!” When I asked him for a quote he gave me:

“Everything gets better”
— Adam Kane

Here’s something from Guru Rattana, a yogi who’s coming to our studio in Long Island next month.

“With Kundalini Yoga you can uplift and train yourself for success and excellence in life. All of us have the energy of the Kundalini flowing though our bodies. However, in many cases this flow is little more than a trickle. Regular practice can soon turn this trickle into a flood, tapping into your vast reservoir of previously dormant energy, creativity and consciousness.”

This awakened state enables you to assume control of yourself and fulfill your highest potential, rather than being constantly at the mercy of your past destructive emotional programming. You will be open to lots of new experiences and subtle sensations, some related to the cleansing of your physical body and subconscious mind. Your awareness will expand, giving you access to your intuition, insights and guidance from your heart.”

Regular Kundalini Yoga practice will help you to:

· Feel happier, healthier, be more productive, more creative, and more relaxed!

· Transform your life and relationships, and feel more fulfilled and satisfied!

· Boost your energy levels and enjoy greater levels of physical well-being!

· Become more intuitive and able to attract new opportunities!

· Embark on an exciting new journey of self-discovery!

We’ve raised up the vibration and very existence of our marriage. Adam is right, “everything gets better”!

Please feel free to leave comments or ask questions!

@EvaGKane. Wife & mother. Singer/songwriter. Level 1 Certified Kundalini Yoga instructor.
NYU School of the Arts BFA in Acting from the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute.
New album KEEP YOU FOREVER on iTunes.
Vodcaster on YouTube @EvaGKane.
Author of It’s Not Too Late Baby, a Kundalini Love Story (coming soon).

#itsnottoolatebaby #kundaliniyoga #evagkane #keepyouforever

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